The above everyday events had occurred, and a few weeks had passed,when on one fine morning, Parliament being over, the summer advanced,and all the good company in London about to quit that city for theirannual tour in search of pleasure or health, the Batavier steamboatleft the Tower-stairs laden with a goodly company of English fugitives.The quarter-deck awnings were up, and the benches and gangways crowdedwith scores of rosy children, bustling nursemaids; ladies in theprettiest pink bonnets and summer dresses; gentlemen in travelling capsand linen-jackets, whose mustachios had just begun to sprout for theensuing tour; and stout trim old veterans with starched neckcloths andneat-brushed hats, such as have invaded Europe any time since theconclusion of the war, and carry the national Goddem into every city ofthe Continent. The congregation of hat-boxes, and Bramah desks, anddressing-cases was prodigious. There were jaunty young Cambridge-mentravelling with their tutor, and going for a reading excursion toNonnenwerth or Konigswinter; there were Irish gentlemen, with the mostdashing whiskers and jewellery, talking about horses incessantly, andprodigiously polite to the young ladies on board, whom, on thecontrary, the Cambridge lads and their pale-faced tutor avoided withmaiden coyness; there were old Pall Mall loungers bound for Ems andWiesbaden and a course of waters to clear off the dinners of theseason, and a little roulette and trente-et-quarante to keep theexcitement going; there was old Methuselah, who had married his youngwife, with Captain Papillon of the Guards holding her parasol andguide-books; there was young May who was carrying off his bride on apleasure tour (Mrs. Winter that was, and who had been at school withMay's grandmother); there was Sir John and my Lady with a dozenchildren, and corresponding nursemaids; and the great grandee Bareacresfamily that sat by themselves near the wheel, stared at everybody, andspoke to no one. Their carriages, emblazoned with coronets and heapedwith shining imperials, were on the foredeck, locked in with a dozenmore such vehicles: it was difficult to pass in and out amongst them;and the poor inmates of the fore-cabin had scarcely any space forlocomotion. These consisted of a few magnificently attired gentlemenfrom Houndsditch, who brought their own provisions, and could havebought half the gay people in the grand saloon; a few honest fellowswith mustachios and portfolios, who set to sketching before they hadbeen half an hour on board; one or two French femmes de chambre whobegan to be dreadfully ill by the time the boat had passed Greenwich; agroom or two who lounged in the neighbourhood of the horse-boxes undertheir charge, or leaned over the side by the paddle-wheels, and talkedabout who was good for the Leger, and what they stood to win or losefor the Goodwood cup.

All the couriers, when they had done plunging about the ship and hadsettled their various masters in the cabins or on the deck, congregatedtogether and began to chatter and smoke; the Hebrew gentlemen joiningthem and looking at the carriages. There was Sir John's great carriagethat would hold thirteen people; my Lord Methuselah's carriage, my LordBareacres' chariot, britzska, and fourgon, that anybody might pay forwho liked. It was a wonder how my Lord got the ready money to pay forthe expenses of the journey. The Hebrew gentlemen knew how he got it.They knew what money his Lordship had in his pocket at that instant,and what interest he paid for it, and who gave it him. Finally therewas a very neat, handsome travelling carriage, about which thegentlemen speculated.

"A qui cette voiture la?" said one gentleman-courier with a largemorocco money-bag and ear-rings to another with ear-rings and a largemorocco money-bag.

"C'est a Kirsch je bense--je l'ai vu toute a l'heure--qui brenoit dessangviches dans la voiture," said the courier in a fine German French.

Kirsch emerging presently from the neighbourhood of the hold, where hehad been bellowing instructions intermingled with polyglot oaths to theship's men engaged in secreting the passengers' luggage, came to givean account of himself to his brother interpreters. He informed themthat the carriage belonged to a Nabob from Calcutta and Jamaicaenormously rich, and with whom he was engaged to travel; and at thismoment a young gentleman who had been warned off the bridge between thepaddle-boxes, and who had dropped thence on to the roof of LordMethuselah's carriage, from which he made his way over other carriagesand imperials until he had clambered on to his own, descended thenceand through the window into the body of the carriage, to the applauseof the couriers looking on.

"Nous allons avoir une belle traversee, Monsieur George," said thecourier with a grin, as he lifted his gold-laced cap.

"D---- your French," said the young gentleman, "where's the biscuits,ay?" Whereupon Kirsch answered him in the English language or in suchan imitation of it as he could command--for though he was familiar withall languages, Mr. Kirsch was not acquainted with a single one, andspoke all with indifferent volubility and incorrectness.

The imperious young gentleman who gobbled the biscuits (and indeed itwas time to refresh himself, for he had breakfasted at Richmond fullthree hours before) was our young friend George Osborne. Uncle Jos andhis mamma were on the quarter-deck with a gentleman of whom they usedto see a good deal, and the four were about to make a summer tour.

Jos was seated at that moment on deck under the awning, and prettynearly opposite to the Earl of Bareacres and his family, whoseproceedings absorbed the Bengalee almost entirely. Both the noblecouple looked rather younger than in the eventful year '15, when Josremembered to have seen them at Brussels (indeed, he always gave out inIndia that he was intimately acquainted with them). Lady Bareacres'hair, which was then dark, was now a beautiful golden auburn, whereasLord Bareacres' whiskers, formerly red, were at present of a rich blackwith purple and green reflections in the light. But changed as theywere, the movements of the noble pair occupied Jos's mind entirely.The presence of a Lord fascinated him, and he could look at nothingelse.

"Those people seem to interest you a good deal," said Dobbin, laughingand watching him. Amelia too laughed. She was in a straw bonnet withblack ribbons, and otherwise dressed in mourning, but the little bustleand holiday of the journey pleased and excited her, and she lookedparticularly happy.

"What a heavenly day!" Emmy said and added, with great originality, "Ihope we shall have a calm passage."

Jos waved his hand, scornfully glancing at the same time under hiseyelids at the great folks opposite. "If you had made the voyages wehave," he said, "you wouldn't much care about the weather." Butnevertheless, traveller as he was, he passed the night direfully sickin his carriage, where his courier tended him with brandy-and-waterand every luxury.

In due time this happy party landed at the quays of Rotterdam, whencethey were transported by another steamer to the city of Cologne. Herethe carriage and the family took to the shore, and Jos was not a littlegratified to see his arrival announced in the Cologne newspapers as"Herr Graf Lord von Sedley nebst Begleitung aus London." He had hiscourt dress with him; he had insisted that Dobbin should bring hisregimental paraphernalia; he announced that it was his intention to bepresented at some foreign courts, and pay his respects to theSovereigns of the countries which he honoured with a visit.

Wherever the party stopped, and an opportunity was offered, Mr. Josleft his own card and the Major's upon "Our Minister." It was withgreat difficulty that he could be restrained from putting on his cockedhat and tights to wait upon the English consul at the Free City ofJudenstadt, when that hospitable functionary asked our travellers todinner. He kept a journal of his voyage and noted elaborately thedefects or excellences of the various inns at which he put up, and ofthe wines and dishes of which he partook.

As for Emmy, she was very happy and pleased. Dobbin used to carryabout for her her stool and sketch-book, and admired the drawings ofthe good-natured little artist as they never had been admired before.She sat upon steamers' decks and drew crags and castles, or she mountedupon donkeys and ascended to ancient robber-towers, attended by her twoaides-de-camp, Georgy and Dobbin. She laughed, and the Major did too,at his droll figure on donkey-back, with his long legs touching theground. He was the interpreter for the party; having a good militaryknowledge of the German language, and he and the delighted Georgefought the campaigns of the Rhine and the Palatinate. In the course ofa few weeks, and by assiduously conversing with Herr Kirsch on the boxof the carriage, Georgy made prodigious advance in the knowledge ofHigh Dutch, and could talk to hotel waiters and postilions in a waythat charmed his mother and amused his guardian.

Mr. Jos did not much engage in the afternoon excursions of hisfellow-travellers. He slept a good deal after dinner, or basked in thearbours of the pleasant inn-gardens. Pleasant Rhine gardens! Fairscenes of peace and sunshine--noble purple mountains, whose crests arereflected in the magnificent stream--who has ever seen you that has nota grateful memory of those scenes of friendly repose and beauty? To laydown the pen and even to think of that beautiful Rhineland makes onehappy. At this time of summer evening, the cows are trooping down fromthe hills, lowing and with their bells tinkling, to the old town, withits old moats, and gates, and spires, and chestnut-trees, with longblue shadows stretching over the grass; the sky and the river belowflame in crimson and gold; and the moon is already out, looking paletowards the sunset. The sun sinks behind the great castle-crestedmountains, the night falls suddenly, the river grows darker and darker,lights quiver in it from the windows in the old ramparts, and twinklepeacefully in the villages under the hills on the opposite shore.

So Jos used to go to sleep a good deal with his bandanna over his faceand be very comfortable, and read all the English news, and every wordof Galignani's admirable newspaper (may the blessings of all Englishmenwho have ever been abroad rest on the founders and proprietors of thatpiratical print! ) and whether he woke or slept, his friends did notvery much miss him. Yes, they were very happy. They went to the operaoften of evenings--to those snug, unassuming, dear old operas in theGerman towns, where the noblesse sits and cries, and knits stockings onthe one side, over against the bourgeoisie on the other; and HisTransparency the Duke and his Transparent family, all very fat andgood-natured, come and occupy the great box in the middle; and the pitis full of the most elegant slim-waisted officers with straw-colouredmustachios, and twopence a day on full pay. Here it was that Emmy foundher delight, and was introduced for the first time to the wonders ofMozart and Cimarosa. The Major's musical taste has been before alludedto, and his performances on the flute commended. But perhaps the chiefpleasure he had in these operas was in watching Emmy's rapture whilelistening to them. A new world of love and beauty broke upon her whenshe was introduced to those divine compositions; this lady had thekeenest and finest sensibility, and how could she be indifferent whenshe heard Mozart? The tender parts of "Don Juan" awakened in herraptures so exquisite that she would ask herself when she went to sayher prayers of a night whether it was not wicked to feel so muchdelight as that with which "Vedrai Carino" and "Batti Batti" filled hergentle little bosom? But the Major, whom she consulted upon this head,as her theological adviser (and who himself had a pious and reverentsoul), said that for his part, every beauty of art or nature made himthankful as well as happy, and that the pleasure to be had in listeningto fine music, as in looking at the stars in the sky, or at a beautifullandscape or picture, was a benefit for which we might thank Heaven assincerely as for any other worldly blessing. And in reply to somefaint objections of Mrs. Amelia's (taken from certain theological workslike the Washerwoman of Finchley Common and others of that school, withwhich Mrs. Osborne had been furnished during her life at Brompton) hetold her an Eastern fable of the Owl who thought that the sunshine wasunbearable for the eyes and that the Nightingale was a most overratedbird. "It is one's nature to sing and the other's to hoot," he said,laughing, "and with such a sweet voice as you have yourself, you mustbelong to the Bulbul faction."

I like to dwell upon this period of her life and to think that she wascheerful and happy. You see, she has not had too much of that sort ofexistence as yet, and has not fallen in the way of means to educate hertastes or her intelligence. She has been domineered over hitherto byvulgar intellects. It is the lot of many a woman. And as every one ofthe dear sex is the rival of the rest of her kind, timidity passes forfolly in their charitable judgments; and gentleness for dulness; andsilence--which is but timid denial of the unwelcome assertion of rulingfolks, and tacit protestantism--above all, finds no mercy at the handsof the female Inquisition. Thus, my dear and civilized reader, if youand I were to find ourselves this evening in a society of greengrocers,let us say, it is probable that our conversation would not bebrilliant; if, on the other hand, a greengrocer should find himself atyour refined and polite tea-table, where everybody was saying wittythings, and everybody of fashion and repute tearing her friends topieces in the most delightful manner, it is possible that the strangerwould not be very talkative and by no means interesting or interested.

And it must be remembered that this poor lady had never met a gentlemanin her life until this present moment. Perhaps these are rarerpersonages than some of us think for. Which of us can point out manysuch in his circle--men whose aims are generous, whose truth isconstant, and not only constant in its kind but elevated in its degree;whose want of meanness makes them simple; who can look the worldhonestly in the face with an equal manly sympathy for the great and thesmall? We all know a hundred whose coats are very well made, and ascore who have excellent manners, and one or two happy beings who arewhat they call in the inner circles, and have shot into the very centreand bull's-eye of the fashion; but of gentlemen how many? Let us take alittle scrap of paper and each make out his list.

My friend the Major I write, without any doubt, in mine. He had verylong legs, a yellow face, and a slight lisp, which at first was ratherridiculous. But his thoughts were just, his brains were fairly good,his life was honest and pure, and his heart warm and humble. Hecertainly had very large hands and feet, which the two George Osbornesused to caricature and laugh at; and their jeers and laughter perhapsled poor little Emmy astray as to his worth. But have we not all beenmisled about our heroes and changed our opinions a hundred times? Emmy,in this happy time, found that hers underwent a very great change inrespect of the merits of the Major.

Perhaps it was the happiest time of both their lives, indeed, if theydid but know it--and who does? Which of us can point out and say thatwas the culmination--that was the summit of human joy? But at allevents, this couple were very decently contented, and enjoyed aspleasant a summer tour as any pair that left England that year. Georgywas always present at the play, but it was the Major who put Emmy'sshawl on after the entertainment; and in the walks and excursions theyoung lad would be on ahead, and up a tower-stair or a tree, whilst thesoberer couple were below, the Major smoking his cigar with greatplacidity and constancy, whilst Emmy sketched the site or the ruin. Itwas on this very tour that I, the present writer of a history of whichevery word is true, had the pleasure to see them first and to maketheir acquaintance.

It was at the little comfortable Ducal town of Pumpernickel (that veryplace where Sir Pitt Crawley had been so distinguished as an attache;but that was in early early days, and before the news of the Battle ofAusterlitz sent all the English diplomatists in Germany to the rightabout) that I first saw Colonel Dobbin and his party. They had arrivedwith the carriage and courier at the Erbprinz Hotel, the best of thetown, and the whole party dined at the table d'hote. Everybodyremarked the majesty of Jos and the knowing way in which he sipped, orrather sucked, the Johannisberger, which he ordered for dinner. Thelittle boy, too, we observed, had a famous appetite, and consumedschinken, and braten, and kartoffeln, and cranberry jam, and salad, andpudding, and roast fowls, and sweetmeats, with a gallantry that didhonour to his nation. After about fifteen dishes, he concluded therepast with dessert, some of which he even carried out of doors, forsome young gentlemen at table, amused with his coolness and gallantfree-and-easy manner, induced him to pocket a handful of macaroons,which he discussed on his way to the theatre, whither everybody went inthe cheery social little German place. The lady in black, the boy'smamma, laughed and blushed, and looked exceedingly pleased and shy asthe dinner went on, and at the various feats and instances ofespieglerie on the part of her son. The Colonel--for so he became verysoon afterwards--I remember joked the boy with a great deal of gravefun, pointing out dishes which he hadn't tried, and entreating him notto baulk his appetite, but to have a second supply of this or that.

It was what they call a gast-rolle night at the Royal Grand DucalPumpernickelisch Hof--or Court theatre--and Madame Schroeder Devrient,then in the bloom of her beauty and genius, performed the part of theheroine in the wonderful opera of Fidelio. From our places in thestalls we could see our four friends of the table d'hote in the logewhich Schwendler of the Erbprinz kept for his best guests, and I couldnot help remarking the effect which the magnificent actress and musicproduced upon Mrs. Osborne, for so we heard the stout gentleman in themustachios call her. During the astonishing Chorus of the Prisoners,over which the delightful voice of the actress rose and soared in themost ravishing harmony, the English lady's face wore such an expressionof wonder and delight that it struck even little Fipps, the blaseattache, who drawled out, as he fixed his glass upon her, "Gayd, itreally does one good to see a woman caypable of that stayt ofexcaytement." And in the Prison Scene, where Fidelio, rushing to herhusband, cries, "Nichts, nichts, mein Florestan," she fairly lostherself and covered her face with her handkerchief. Every woman in thehouse was snivelling at the time, but I suppose it was because it waspredestined that I was to write this particular lady's memoirs that Iremarked her.

The next day they gave another piece of Beethoven, Die Schlacht beiVittoria. Malbrook is introduced at the beginning of the performance,as indicative of the brisk advance of the French army. Then come drums,trumpets, thunders of artillery, and groans of the dying, and at last,in a grand triumphal swell, "God Save the King" is performed.

There may have been a score of Englishmen in the house, but at theburst of that beloved and well-known music, every one of them, we youngfellows in the stalls, Sir John and Lady Bullminster (who had taken ahouse at Pumpernickel for the education of their nine children), thefat gentleman with the mustachios, the long Major in white ducktrousers, and the lady with the little boy upon whom he was so sweet,even Kirsch, the courier in the gallery, stood bolt upright in theirplaces and proclaimed themselves to be members of the dear old Britishnation. As for Tapeworm, the Charge d'Affaires, he rose up in his boxand bowed and simpered, as if he would represent the whole empire.Tapeworm was nephew and heir of old Marshal Tiptoff, who has beenintroduced in this story as General Tiptoff, just before Waterloo, whowas Colonel of the --th regiment in which Major Dobbin served, and whodied in this year full of honours, and of an aspic of plovers' eggs;when the regiment was graciously given by his Majesty to Colonel SirMichael O'Dowd, K.C.B. who had commanded it in many glorious fields.

Tapeworm must have met with Colonel Dobbin at the house of theColonel's Colonel, the Marshal, for he recognized him on this night atthe theatre, and with the utmost condescension, his Majesty's ministercame over from his own box and publicly shook hands with his new-foundfriend.

"Look at that infernal sly-boots of a Tapeworm," Fipps whispered,examining his chief from the stalls. "Wherever there's a pretty womanhe always twists himself in." And I wonder what were diplomatists madefor but for that?

"Have I the honour of addressing myself to Mrs. Dobbin?" asked theSecretary with a most insinuating grin.

Georgy burst out laughing and said, "By Jove, that was a good 'un."Emmy and the Major blushed: we saw them from the stalls.

"This lady is Mrs. George Osborne," said the Major, "and this is herbrother, Mr. Sedley, a distinguished officer of the Bengal CivilService: permit me to introduce him to your lordship."

My lord nearly sent Jos off his legs with the most fascinating smile."Are you going to stop in Pumpernickel?" he said. "It is a dull place,but we want some nice people, and we would try and make it SO agreeableto you. Mr.--Ahum--Mrs.--Oho. I shall do myself the honour of callingupon you to-morrow at your inn." And he went away with a Parthian grinand glance which he thought must finish Mrs. Osborne completely.

The performance over, the young fellows lounged about the lobbies, andwe saw the society take its departure. The Duchess Dowager went off inher jingling old coach, attended by two faithful and withered old maidsof honour, and a little snuffy spindle-shanked gentleman in waiting, ina brown jasey and a green coat covered with orders--of which the starand the grand yellow cordon of the order of St. Michael of Pumpernickelwere most conspicuous. The drums rolled, the guards saluted, and theold carriage drove away.

Then came his Transparency the Duke and Transparent family, with hisgreat officers of state and household. He bowed serenely to everybody.And amid the saluting of the guards and the flaring of the torches ofthe running footmen, clad in scarlet, the Transparent carriages droveaway to the old Ducal schloss, with its towers and pinacles standing onthe schlossberg. Everybody in Pumpernickel knew everybody. No soonerwas a foreigner seen there than the Minister of Foreign Affairs, orsome other great or small officer of state, went round to the Erbprinzand found out the name of the new arrival.

We watched them, too, out of the theatre. Tapeworm had just walkedoff, enveloped in his cloak, with which his gigantic chasseur wasalways in attendance, and looking as much as possible like Don Juan.The Prime Minister's lady had just squeezed herself into her sedan, andher daughter, the charming Ida, had put on her calash and clogs; whenthe English party came out, the boy yawning drearily, the Major takinggreat pains in keeping the shawl over Mrs. Osborne's head, and Mr.Sedley looking grand, with a crush opera-hat on one side of his headand his hand in the stomach of a voluminous white waistcoat. We tookoff our hats to our acquaintances of the table d'hote, and the lady, inreturn, presented us with a little smile and a curtsey, for whicheverybody might be thankful.

The carriage from the inn, under the superintendence of the bustlingMr. Kirsch, was in waiting to convey the party; but the fat man said hewould walk and smoke his cigar on his way homewards, so the otherthree, with nods and smiles to us, went without Mr. Sedley, Kirsch,with the cigar case, following in his master's wake.

We all walked together and talked to the stout gentleman about theagremens of the place. It was very agreeable for the English. Therewere shooting-parties and battues; there was a plenty of balls andentertainments at the hospitable Court; the society was generally good;the theatre excellent; and the living cheap.

"And our Minister seems a most delightful and affable person," our newfriend said. "With such a representative, and--and a good medical man,I can fancy the place to be most eligible. Good-night, gentlemen." AndJos creaked up the stairs to bedward, followed by Kirsch with aflambeau. We rather hoped that nice-looking woman would be induced tostay some time in the town.