Chapter 1
"I won't!" cried Ann; "I won't sweep the floor. Itis beneath my dignity."
"Some one must sweep it," replied Ann's youngersister, Salye; "else we shall soon he wading indust. And you are the eldest, and the head of thefamily."
"I'm Queen of Oogaboo," said Ann, proudly."But," she added with a sigh, "my kingdom is thesmallest and the poorest in all the Land of Oz."
This was quite true. Away up in the mountains,in a far corner of the beautiful fairyland of Oz,lies a small valley which is named Oogaboo, and inthis valley lived a few people who were usuallyhappy and contented and never cared to wander overthe mountain pass into the more settled parts ofthe land. They knew that all of Oz, includingtheir own territory, was ruled by a beautifulPrincess named Ozma, who lived in the splendidEmerald City; yet the simple folk of Oogaboonever visited Ozma. They had a royal family oftheir own--not especially to rule over them, butjust as a matter of pride. Ozma permitted thevarious parts of her country to have their Kingsand Queens and Emperors and the like, but all wereruled over by the lovely girl Queen of the EmeraldCity.
The King of Oogaboo used to he a man namedJol Jemkiph Soforth, who for many years didall the drudgery of deciding disputes and tellinghis people when to plant cabbages and pickleonions. But the King's wife had a sharp tongueand small respect for the King, her husband;therefore one night King Jol crept over the passinto the Land of Oz and disappeared fromOogaboo for good and all. The Queen waiteda few years for him to return and then startedin search of him, leaving her eldest daughter,Ann Soforth, to act as Queen.
Now, Ann had not forgotten when her birthdaycame, for that meant a party and feasting anddancing, but she had quite forgotten how manyyears the birthdays marked. In a land where peoplelive always, this is not considered a cause forregret, so we may justly say that Queen Ann ofOogaboo was old enough to make jelly--and let it goat that.
But she didn't make jelly, or do any more of thehousework than she could help. She was anambitious woman and constantly resented the factthat her kingdom was so tiny and her people sostupid and unenterprising. Often she wondered whathad become of her father and mother, out beyondthe pass, in the wonderful Land of Oz, and thefact that they did not return to Oogaboo led Annto suspect that they bad found a better place tolive. So, when Salye refused to sweep the floor ofthe living room in the palace, and Ann would notsweep it, either, she said to her sister:
"I'm going away. This absurd Kingdom of Oogabootires me."
"Go, if you want to," answered Salye; "but youare very foolish to leave this place."
"Why?" asked Ann.
"Because in the Land of Oz, which is Ozma'scountry, you will be a nobody, while here youare a Queen."
"Oh, yes! Queen over eighteen men, twenty-sevenwomen and forty-four children!" returned Annbitterly.
"Well, there are certainly more people than thatin the great Land of Oz," laughed Salye. "Whydon't you raise an army and conquer them, and beQueen of all Oz?" she asked, trying to taunt Annand so to anger her. Then she made a face at hersister and went into the back yard to swing in thehammock.
Her jeering words, however, had given Queen Annan idea. She reflected that Oz was reported to bea peaceful country and Ozma a mere girl who ruledwith gentleness to all and was obeyed because herpeople loved her. Even in Oogaboo the story wastold that Ozma's sole army consisted of twenty-seven fine officers, who wore beautiful uniformsbut carried no weapons, because there was no oneto fight. Once there had been a private soldier,besides the officers, but Ozma had made him aCaptain-General and taken away his gun for fear itmight accidentally hurt some one.
The more Ann thought about the matter the moreshe was convinced it would be easy to conquer theLand of Oz and set herself up as Ruler in Ozma'splace, if she but had an Army to do it with.Afterward she could go out into the world andconquer other lands, and then perhaps she couldfind a way to the moon, and conquer that. She hada warlike spirit that preferred trouble toidleness.
It all depended on an Army, Ann decided. Shecarefully counted in her mind all the men of herkingdom. Yes; there were exactly eighteen of them,all told. That would not make a very big Army, butby surprising Ozma's unarmed officers her menmight easily subdue them. "Gentle people arealways afraid of those that bluster," Ann toldherself. "I don't wish to shed any blood, for thatwould shock my nerves and I might faint; but if wethreaten and flash our weapons I am sure thepeople of Oz will fall upon their knees before meand surrender."
This argument, which she repeated to herselfmore than once, finally determined the Queen ofOogaboo to undertake the audacious venture.
"Whatever happens," she reflected, "can makeme no more unhappy than my staying shut upin this miserable valley and sweeping floors andquarreling with Sister Salye; so I will ventureall, and win what I may."
That very day she started out to organize herArmy.
The first man she came to was Jo Apple, socalled because he had an apple orchard.
"Jo," said Ann, "I am going to conquer theworld, and I want you to join my Army."
"Don't ask me to do such a fool thing, for Imust politely refuse Your Majesty," said JoApple."
"I have no intention of asking you. I shallcommand you, as Queen of Oogaboo, to join," saidAnn.
"In that case, I suppose I must obey," the manremarked, in a sad voice. "But I pray you toconsider that I am a very important citizen, andfor that reason am entitled to an office of highrank."
"You shall be a General," promised Ann.
"With gold epaulets and a sword?" he asked.
"Of course," said the Queen.
Then she went to the next man, whose name was JoBunn, as he owned an orchard where graham-buns andwheat-buns, in great variety, both hot and cold,grew on the trees.
"Jo," said Ann, "I am going to conquer theworld, and I command you to join my Army."
"Impossible!" he exclaimed. "The bun crop has tobe picked."
"Let your wife and children do the picking,"said Ann.
"But I'm a man of great importance, YourMajesty," he protested.
"For that reason you shall be one of myGenerals, and wear a cocked hat with goldbraid, and curl your mustaches and clank a longsword," she promised.
So he consented, although sorely against hiswill, and the Queen walked on to the nextcottage. Here lived Jo Cone, so called becausethe trees in his orchard bore crops of excellentice-cream cones.
"Jo," said Ann, "I am going to conquer theworld, and you must join my Army."
"Excuse me, please," said Jo Cone. "I am abad fighter. My good wife conquered me yearsago, for she can fight better than I. Take her,Your Majesty, instead of me, and I'll bless youfor the favor."
"This must be an army of men-fierce, ferociouswarriors," declared Ann, looking sternly upon themild little man.
"And you will leave my wife here in Oogaboo?" heasked.
"Yes; and make you a General."
"I'll go," said Jo Cone, and Ann went on tothe cottage of Jo Clock, who had an orchard ofclock-trees. This man at first insisted that hewould not join the army, but Queen Ann'spromise to make him a General finally won hisconsent.
"How many Generals are there in your army?"he asked.
"Four, so far," replied Ann.
"And how big will the army he?" was his nextquestion.
"I intend to make every one of the eighteenmen in Oogaboo join it," she said.
"Then four Generals are enough," announcedJo Clock. "I advise you to make the rest of themColonels."
Ann tried to follow his advice. The next fourmen she visited--who were Jo Plum, Jo Egg, JoBanjo and Jo Cheese, named after the trees intheir orchards--she made Colonels of her Army; butthe fifth one, Jo Nails, said Colonels andGenerals were getting to be altogether too commonin the Army of Oogaboo and he preferred to be aMajor. So Jo Nails, Jo Cake, Jo Ham and JoStockings were all four made Majors, while thenext four--Jo Sandwich, Jo Padlocks, Jo Sundae andJo Buttons--were appointed Captains of the Army.
But now Queen Ann was in a quandary. Thereremained but two other men in all Oogaboo,and if she made these two Lieutenants, whilethere were four Captains, four Majors, fourColonels and four Generals, there was likely tobe jealousy in her army, and perhaps mutinyand desertions.
One of these men, however, was Jo Candy, and hewould not go at all. No promises could tempt him,nor could threats move him. He said he must remainat home to harvest his crop of jackson-balls,lemon-drops, bonbons and chocolate-creams. Also hehad large fields of cracker-jack and butteredpopcorn to be mowed and threshed, and he wasdetermined not to disappoint the children ofOogaboo by going away to conquer the world and solet the candy crop spoil.
Finding Jo Candy so obstinate, Queen Annlet him have his own way and continued herjourney to the house of the eighteenth and lastman in Oogaboo, who was a young fellownamed Jo Files. This Files had twelve treeswhich bore steel files of various sorts; but alsohe had nine book-trees, on which grew a choiceselection of story-books. In case you have neverseen books growing upon trees, I will explainthat those in Jo Files' orchard were enclosedin broad green husks which, when fully ripe,turned to a deep red color. Then the books werepicked and husked and were ready to read. Ifthey were picked too soon, the stories were foundto be confused and uninteresting and the spellingbad. However, if allowed to ripen perfectly, thestories were fine reading and the spelling andgrammar excellent.
Files freely gave his books to all who wantedthem, but the people of Oogaboo cared little forbooks and so he had to read most of them himself,before they spoiled. For, as you probably know, assoon as the books were read the words disappearedand the leaves withered and faded--which is theworst fault of all books which grow upon trees.
When Queen Ann spoke to this young man Files,who was both intelligent and ambitious, he said hethought it would be great fun to conquer theworld. But he called her attention to the factthat he was far superior to the other men of herarmy. Therefore, he would not be one of herGenerals or Colonels or Majors or Captains, butclaimed the honor of being sole Private.
Ann did not like this idea at all.
"I hate to have a Private Soldier in my army,she said; "they're so common. I am told thatPrincess Ozma once had a private soldier, butshe made him her Captain-General, which isgood evidence that the private was unnecessary.
"Ozma's army doesn't fight," returned Files;"but your army must fight like fury in order toconquer the world. I have read in my books that itis always the private soldiers who do thefighting, for no officer is ever brave enough toface the foe. Also, it stands to reason that yourofficers must have some one to command and toissue their orders to; therefore I'll be the one.I long to slash and slay the enemy and become ahero. Then, when we return to Oogaboo, I'll takeall the marbles away from the children and meltthem up and make a marble statue of myself for allto look upon and admire."
Ann was much pleased with Private Files. Heseemed indeed to be such a warrior as she neededin her enterprise, and her hopes of success tooka sudden bound when Files told her he knewwhere a gun-tree grew and would go there atonce and pick the ripest and biggest musket thetree bore.