Chapter 15 - Alas For Charlie!
In spite of much internal rebellion, Charlie held fast to hisresolution, and Aunt Clara, finding all persuasions vain, gave inand in a state of chronic indignation against the world in generaland Rose in particular, prepared to accompany him. The poor girlhad a hard time of it and, but for her uncle, would have fared stillworse. He was a sort of shield upon which Mrs. Clara'slamentations, reproaches, and irate glances fell unavailinglyinstead of wounding the heart against which they were aimed.
The days passed very quickly now, for everyone seemed anxious tohave the parting over and preparations went on rapidly. The bighouse was made ready to shut up for a year at least, comforts forthe long voyage laid in, and farewell visits paid. The generalactivity and excitement rendered it impossible for Charlie to leadthe life of an artistic hermit any longer and he fell into a restlesscondition which caused Rose to long for the departure of the Rajahwhen she felt that he would be safe, for these farewell festivitieswere dangerous to one who was just learning to say "no."
"Half the month safely gone. If we can only get well over these lastweeks, a great weight will be off my mind," thought Rose as shewent down one wild, wet morning toward the end of February.
Opening the study door to greet her uncle, she exclaimed, "Why,Archie!" then paused upon the threshold, transfixed by fear, for inher cousin's white face she read the tidings of some greataffliction.
"Hush! Don't be frightened. Come in and I'll tell you," hewhispered, putting down the bottle he had just taken from thedoctor's medicine closet.
Rose understood and obeyed, for Aunt Plenty was poorly with herrheumatism and depended on her morning doze.
"What is it?" she said, looking about the room with a shiver, as ifexpecting to see again what she saw there New Year's night.Archie was alone, however, and, drawing her toward the closet,answered with an evident effort to be quite calm and steady"Charlie is hurt! Uncle wants more ether and the wide bandages insome drawer or other. He told me, but I forget. You keep this placein order find them for me. Quick!"
Before he had done, Rose was at the drawer, turning over thebandages with hands that trembled as they searched.
"All narrow! I must make some. Can you wait?" And, catching upa piece of old linen, she tore it into wide strips, adding, in the samequick tone, as she began to roll them, "Now, tell me."
"I can wait those are not needed just yet. I didn't mean anyoneshould know, you least of all," began Archie, smoothing out thestrips as they lay across the table and evidently surprised at thegirl's nerve and skill.
"I can bear it make haste! Is he much hurt?"
"I'm afraid he is. Uncle looks sober, and the poor boy suffers so, Icouldn't stay," answered Archie, turning still whiter about the lipsthat never had so hard a tale to tell before.
"You see, he went to town last evening to meet the man who isgoing to buy Brutus."
"And Brutus did it? I knew he would!" cried Rose, dropping herwork to wring her hands, as if she guessed the ending of the storynow.
"Yes, and if he wasn't shot already I'd do it myself with pleasure,for he's done his best to kill Charlie," muttered Charlie's mate witha grim look, then gave a great sigh and added with averted face, "Ishouldn't blame the brute, it wasn't his fault. He needed a firmhand and - " He stopped there, but Rose said quickly: "Go on. I mustknow."
"Charlie met some of his old cronies, quite by accident; there wasa dinner party, and they made him go, just for a good-bye, theysaid. He couldn't refuse, and it was too much for him. He wouldcome home alone in the storm, though they tried to keep him, ashe wasn't fit. Down by the new bridge that high embankment, youknow the wind had put the lantern out he forgot or somethingscared Brutus, and all went down together."
Archie had spoken fast and brokenly but Rose understood and atthe last word hid her face with a little moan, as if she saw it all.
"Drink this and never mind the rest," he said, dashing into the nextroom and coming back with a glass of water, longing to be doneand away, for this sort of pain seemed almost as bad as that he hadleft.
Rose drank, but held his arm tightly, as he would have turnedaway, saying in a tone of command he could not disobey: "Don'tkeep anything back tell me the worst at once."
"We knew nothing of it," he went on obediently. "Aunt Clarathought he was with me, and no one found him till early thismorning. A workman recognized him and he was brought home,dead they thought. I came for Uncle an hour ago. Charlie isconscious now, but awfully hurt, and I'm afraid from the way Macand Uncle looked at one another that Oh! Think of it, Rose!Crushed and helpless, alone in the rain all night, and I never knew,I never knew!"
With that, poor Archie broke down entirely and, flinging himselfinto a chair, laid his face on the table, sobbing like a girl. Rose hadnever seen a man cry before, and it was so unlike a woman'sgentler grief that it moved her very much. Putting by her ownanguish, she tried to comfort his and, going to him, lifted up hishead and made him lean on her, for in such hours as this womenare the stronger. It was a very little to do, but it did comfortArchie, for the poor fellow felt as if fate was very hard upon himjust then, and in this faithful bosom he could pour his brief butpathetic plaint.
"Phebe's gone, and now if Charlie's taken, I don't see how I canbear it!"
"Phebe will come back, dear, and let us hope poor Charlie isn'tgoing to be taken yet. Such things always seem worst at first, I'veheard people say, so cheer up and hope for the best," answeredRose, seeking for some comfortable words to say and finding veryfew.
They took effect, however, for Archie did cheer up like a man.Wiping away the tears which he so seldom shed that they did notknow where to go, he got up, gave himself a little shake, and saidwith a long breath, as if he had been underwater: "Now I'm allright, thank you. I couldn't help it the shock of being wakedsuddenly to find the dear old fellow in such a pitiful state upsetme. I ought to go are these ready?"
"In a minute. Tell Uncle to send for me if I can be of any use. Oh,poor Aunt Clara! How does she bear it?"
"Almost distracted. I took Mother to her, and she will do all thatanybody can. Heaven only knows what Aunt will do if - "
"And only heaven can help her," added Rose as Archie stopped atthe words he could not utter. "Now take them, and let me knowoften."
"You brave little soul, I will." And Archie went away through therain with his sad burden, wondering how Rose could be so calmwhen the beloved Prince might be dying.
A long dark day followed, with nothing to break its melancholymonotony except the bulletins that came from hour to hourreporting little change either for better or for worse. Rose brokethe news gently to Aunt Plenty and set herself to the task ofkeeping up the old lady's spirits, for, being helpless, the good soulfelt as if everything would go wrong without her. At dusk she fellasleep, and Rose went down to order lights and fire in the parlor,with tea ready to serve at any moment, for she felt sure some of themen would come and that a cheerful greeting and creaturecomforts would suit them better than tears, darkness, anddesolation.
Presently Mac arrived, saying the instant he entered the room:"More comfortable, Cousin."
"Thank heaven!" cried Rose, unclasping her hands. Then seeinghow worn out, wet, and weary Mac looked as he came into thelight, she added in a tone that was a cordial in itself, "Poor boy,how tired you are! Come here, and let me make you comfortable."
"I was going home to freshen up a bit, for I must be back in anhour. Mother took my place, so I could be spared, and came off, asUncle refused to stir."
"Don't go home, for if Aunty isn't there it will be very dismal. Stepinto Uncle's room and refresh, then come back and I'll give youyour tea. Let me, let me! I can't help in any other way, and I mustdo something, this waiting is so dreadful."
Her last words betrayed how much suspense was trying her, andMac yielded at once, glad to comfort and be comforted. When hecame back, looking much revived, a tempting little tea table stoodbefore the fire and Rose went to meet him, saying with a faintsmile, as she liberally bedewed him with the contents of a cologneflask: "I can't bear the smell of ether it suggests such dreadfulthings."
"What curious creatures women are! Archie told us you bore thenews like a hero, and now you turn pale at a whiff of bad air. Ican't explain it," mused Mac as he meekly endured the fragrantshower bath.
"Neither can I, but I've been imagining horrors all day and mademyself nervous. Don't let us talk about it, but come and have sometea."
"That's another queer thing. Tea is your panacea for all human illsyet there isn't any nourishment in it. I'd rather have a glass of milk,thank you," said Mac, taking an easy chair and stretching his feetto the fire.
She brought it to him and made him eat something; then, as heshut his eyes wearily, she went away to the piano and, having noheart to sing, played softly till he seemed asleep. But at the strokeof six he was up and ready to be off again.
"He gave me that. Take it with you and put some on his hair. Helikes it, and I do so want to help a little," she said, slipping thepretty flagon into his pocket with such a wistful look Mac neverthought of smiling at this very feminine request.
"I'll tell him. Is there anything else I can do for you, Cousin?" heasked, holding the cold hand that had been serving him sohelpfully.
"Only this if there is any sudden change, promise to send for me,no matter at what hour it is. I must say 'good-bye'".
"I will come for you. But, Rose, I am sure you may sleep in peacetonight, and I hope to have good news for you in the morning."
"Bless you for that! Come early, and let me see him soon. I will bevery good, and I know it will not do him any harm."
"No fear of that. The first thing he said when he could speak was'Tell Rose carefully,' and as I came away he guessed where I wasgoing and tried to kiss his hand in the old way, you know."
Mac thought it would cheer her to hear that Charlie rememberedher, but the sudden thought that she might never see the familiarlittle gesture anymore was the last drop that made her full heartoverflow, and Mac saw the "hero" of the morning sink down at hisfeet in a passion of tears that frightened him. He took her to thesofa and tried to comfort her, but as soon as the bitter sobbingquieted she looked up and said quite steadily, great drops rollingdown her cheeks the while: "Let me cry it is what I need, and Ishall be all the better for it by and by. Go to Charlie now and tellhim I said with all my heart, 'Good night!'?
"I will!" And Mac trudged away, marveling in his turn at thecuriously blended strength and weakness of womankind.
That was the longest night Rose ever spent, but joy came in themorning with the early message: "He is better. You are to come byand by." Then Aunt Plenty forgot her lumbago and arose; AuntMyra, who had come to have a social croak, took off her blackbonnet as if it would not be needed at present, and the girl madeready to go and say "Welcome back," not the hard "Good-bye."
It seemed very long to wait, for no summons came till afternoon,then her uncle arrived, and at the first sight of his face Rose beganto tremble.
"I came for my little girl myself, because we must go back atonce," he said as she hurried toward him hat in hand.
"I'm ready, sir." But her hands shook as she tried to tie the ribbons,and her eyes never left the face that was full of tender pity for her.
He took her quickly into the carriage and, as they rolled away, saidwith the quiet directness which soothes such agitation better thanany sympathetic demonstration: "Charlie is worse. I feared it whenthe pain went so suddenly this morning, but the chief injuries areinternal and one can never tell what the chances are. He insists thathe is better, but he will soon begin to fail, I fear, becomeunconscious, and slip away without more suffering. This is thetime for you to see him, for he has set his heart on it, and nothingcan hurt him now. My child, it is very hard, but we must help eachother bear it."
Rose tried to say, "Yes, Uncle" bravely, but the words would notcome, and she could only slip her hand into his with a look ofmute submission. He laid her head on his shoulder and went ontalking so quietly that anyone who did not see how worn andhaggard his face had grown with two days and a night of sharpanxiety might have thought him cold.
"Jessie has gone home to rest, and Jane is with poor Clara, whohas dropped asleep at last. I've sent for Steve and the other boys.There will be time for them later, but he so begged to see you now,I thought it best to come while this temporary strength keeps himup. I have told him how it is, but he will not believe me. If he asksyou, answer honestly and try to fit him a little for this suddenending of so many hopes."
"How soon, Uncle?"
"A few hours, probably. This tranquil moment is yours make themost of it and, when we can do no more for him, we'll comfort oneanother."
Mac met them in the hall, but Rose hardly saw him. She wasconscious only of the task before her and, when her uncle led herto the door, she said quietly, "Let me go in alone, please."
Archie, who had been hanging over the bed, slipped away into theinner room as she appeared, and Rose found Charlie waiting forher with such a happy face, she could not believe what she hadheard and found it easy to say almost cheerfully as she took hiseager hand in both of hers: "Dear Charlie, I'm so glad you sent forme. I longed to come, but waited till you were better. You surelyare?" she added, as a second glance showed to her theindescribable change which had come upon the face which at firstseemed to have both light and color in it.
"Uncle says not, but I think he is mistaken, because the agony is allgone, and except for this odd sinking now and then, I don't feel somuch amiss," he answered feebly but with something of the oldlightness in his voice.
"You will hardly be able to sail in the Rajah, I fear, but you won'tmind waiting a little while we nurse you," said poor Rose, trying totalk on quietly, with her heart growing heavier every minute.
"I shall go if I'm carried! I'll keep that promise, though it costs memy life. Oh, Rose! You know? They've told you?" And, with asudden memory of what brought him there, he hid his face in thepillow.
"You broke no promise, for I would not let you make one, youremember. Forget all that, and let us talk about the better time thatmay be coming for you."
"Always so generous, so kind!" he murmured, with her handagainst his feverish cheek; then, looking up, he went on in a toneso humbly contrite it made her eyes fill with slow, hot tears.
"I tried to flee temptation I tried to say 'no,' but I am so pitiablyweak, I couldn't. You must despise me. But don't give me upentirely, for if I live, I'll do better. I'll go away to Father and beginagain."
Rose tried to keep back the bitter drops, but they would fall, tohear him still speak hopefully when there was no hope. Somethingin the mute anguish of her face seemed to tell him what she couldnot speak, and a quick change came over him as he grasped herhand tighter, saying in a sharp whisper: "Have I really got to die,Rose?"
Her only answer was to kneel down and put her arms about him, asif she tried to keep death away a little longer. He believed it then,and lay so still, she looked up in a moment, fearing she knew notwhat.
But Charlie bore it manfully, for he had the courage which canface a great danger bravely, though not the strength to fight abosom sin and conquer it. His eyes were fixed, as if trying to lookinto the unseen world whither he was going, and his lips firmly setthat no word of complaint should spoil the proof he meant to givethat, though he had not known how to live, he did know how todie. It seemed to Rose as if for one brief instant she saw the manthat might have been if early training had taught him how to rulehimself; and the first words he uttered with a long sigh, as his eyecame back to her, showed that he felt the failure and owned it withpathetic candor.
"Better so, perhaps; better go before I bring any more sorrow toyou and shame to myself. I'd like to stay a little longer and try toredeem the past; it seems so wasted now, but if I can't, don't grieve,Rose. I'm no loss to anyone, and perhaps it is too late to mend."
"Oh, don't say that! No one will find your place among us we nevercan forget how much we loved you, and you must believe howfreely we forgive as we would be forgiven," cried Rose, steadiedby the pale despair that had fallen on Charlie's face with thosebitter words.
"'Forgive us our trespasses!' Yes, I should say that. Rose, I'm notready, it is so sudden. What can I do?" he whispered, clinging toher as if he had no anchor except the creature whom he loved somuch.
"Uncle will tell you I am not good enough I can only pray for you."And she moved as if to call in the help so sorely needed.
"No, no, not yet! Stay by me, darling read something there, inGrandfather's old book, some prayer for such as I. It will do memore good from you than any minister alive."
She got the venerable book given to Charlie because he bore thegood man's name and, turning to the "Prayer for the Dying," read itbrokenly while the voice beside her echoed now and then someword that reproved or comforted.
"The testimony of a good conscience." "By the sadness of hiscountenance may his heart be made better." "Christian patienceand fortitude." "Leave the world in peace." "Amen."
There was silence for a little; then Rose, seeing how wan helooked, said softly, "Shall I call Uncle now?"
"If you will. But first don't smile at my foolishness, dear I want mylittle heart. They took it off please give it back and let me keep italways," he answered with the old fondness strong as ever, evenwhen he could show it only by holding fast the childish trinketwhich she found and had given him the old agate heart with thefaded ribbon. "Put it on, and never let them take it off," he said,and when she asked if there was anything else she could do forhim, he tried to stretch out his arms to her with a look which askedfor more.
She kissed him very tenderly on lips and forehead, tried to say"good-bye," but could not speak, and groped her way to the door.Turning for a last look, Charlie's hopeful spirit rose for a moment,as if anxious to send her away more cheerful, and he said with ashadow of the old blithe smile, a feeble attempt at the familiarfarewell gesture: "Till tomorrow, Rose."
Alas for Charlie! His tomorrow never came, and when she sawhim next, he lay there looking so serene and noble, it seemed as ifit must be well with him, for all the pain was past; temptationended; doubt and fear, hope and love, could no more stir his quietheart, and in solemn truth he had gone to meet his Father, andbegin again.